Kentucky Fried Connerie
I was recently introduced to a website called Kentucky Fried Cruelty. In my curiosity I surfed the site thinking it might be some hippy bashing contest out of the midwest, but quickly realized it was something much worse: an attack on one of America's favorite eateries. This Peta-sponsored propaganda is a disgrace to our nation and to the human race. In addition, it criticizes one of God’s greatest creations - the Fried Chicken. This family favorite has been part of the American tradition from its earliest beginnings:
In 1622, Colonel Sanders, one of the first Pilgrims to land on Plymouth Rock, accidentally discovered the fried chicken when his pet Clucky fell into a vat of scorching oil which he was preparing to toss onto the neighboring Indians. Thanks to Col. Sanders and Clucky, there came to be enough calorie-filled food for all the colonists and natives to survive. The occurrence preceded what we now know as Thanksgiving.
The problem I have with Peta is not their anti-capitalistic messages or their animal husbanding ways. It’s that their organization protects the rights of animals while neglecting the rights of man. Case in point, Peta's Mission Statement states the following:
“…PETA is dedicated to establishing and protecting the rights of all animals. PETA operates under the simple principle that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.”
What exactly are the rights of animals? Do they have the right to vote? Do they have the right to bear arms? Do they even have arms? As a member of the human species, I have the fortune to know and understand my rights. I know I am within my rights to raise and kill livestock to feed my family.
The practice of killing chickens for food has been around for several millennia, the most common method being an axe to the head, which seems to be the most efficient way to kill individual chickens. There have been other attempts to improve on this method, but they’ve met little success. With the advent of mass production came a process of mass slaughtering, where 850 million chickens a year are killed. In the process, some of these chickens haphazardly die in cruel and unusual manners: by being ripped apart as they go through the conveyor, by getting trampled by fatter chickens fighting for their lives, or by being sodomized by a frustrated worker at the slaughterhouse. Unfortunately there’s not much that we can do about it… we’re talking 850 million chickens a year here, one of them is bound to take it in the butt.
Peta wants us to believe, much like feminists, that we are all alike and as such have all the same feelings, thoughts, and rights. The problem is that we are not alike. Humans have evolved from something that originally may have very well looked like a chicken, but after billions of years of evolution, is definitely not a chicken. We find in our Darwinian bodies that we have improved on things that chickens tend not to have, the most important of these being our brains. If we stop using this most precious of organs, as many Peta members tend to do, then we might as well take an axe to the head. How many people do you know that can still function without theirs? After all, if it walks like a chicken and talks like a chicken, maybe it’s a chicken!? In Orwell’s classic Animal Farm, even Napoleon admits that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
If Peta has a problem with KFC’s treatment of animals, then I suggest they get all the chickens out to vote. Cluck the Vote! If this seems impossible because of their apathy of the issues, try gathering an army of fowl to revolt on the capital against human domination. It seems these Orwellians, much like the evangelicals, have taken the book too literally.
In life, it seems to me, that everything balances out. For every chicken will have its day eventually. If they don’t stab us in the eyes with their pointy beaks, then it will be in our arteries with their tender fat-filled breasts. Where else can you get such a great meal at such a heart stopping price? In the meantime, please let me enjoy my 6 piece nuggets.
Mmmmm…Finger lickin’ good.
posted by PeaceOfMind @ 1:13 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
The only "rights" animals have are the ones we bestow upon them. Other than that, we, being the highest on the food chain, determine the fate of everything beneath us. It's just the way how God, nature, or whatever set it up. We didn't ask for this power, but we have it. Now, do I believe we should abuse it? No. But, I do appreciate the fact that we are omnivores and thus should eat beef, chicken, fish etc. It is coded our DNA to digest and receive nutrients from this food. It's OK to have a burger or your 6 piece McNuggets.
Personally, I draw the line when it comes to the barbaric treatment of animals. Recently, I read an article that in some backward town in Romania, dogs are used in a yearly superstitious ritual. Basically, some unlucky dog is selected to be strung up by 2 ropes that are twisted around his body. When the rope is released the dog is propelled ala helicopter until he is, literally, scared the shit out of. The more feces the bystanders receive the "luckier" they will be for the coming year. Gives new meaning to the saying "he fell into shit". I realize this is a 3rd world country, but the images of this poor dog made me sick. It's one thing to eat the poor bastard, but why torture it for some ridiculous ritualistic nonsense? Don't even get me started on Greyhounds!
Here’s a piece-of-my-mind on this subject….. I tend to see things in simple terms.
1. People are more important than animals. Even People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are more important than animals.
2. Mass processing poultry, pork, beef and similar businesses are in business to make a profit.
3. Because there are many mass processors, what they charge for their product is limited by competitive forces, as these animals are fungible commodities within their respective categories (one dead chicken = another). They are further limited by the fact that their consumption is inversely correlated across groups (the more chickens people eat within a marketplace, the less pork and beef they will demand, which will lower their price).
4. The only real way for a producer to earn more profits when there is no feasible way to increase prices is to lower costs.
5. Mass processors want to reduce costs at all costs, regardless of the way in which animals are treated. Lower costs result in lower consumer prices because of the competition.
6. Lower consumer prices are good for people, who can eat more.
Conclusion: mass processors are providing a highly humanitarian service by feeding people at the lowest possible cost. Treating the animals better would increase costs, which would hurt people. If it decreased costs, it would already be in practice. If it was cost neutral, it would also be in practice to attract more customers.
Oh, the painful little ways in which capitalism helps everyone!!!
Peaceofmind, that was a highly enjoyable article. A true credit to the blog.
If it tastes good it has no rights.
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